Short Changed

I feel so cheated.
Sometime last Aug, i upgraded from 512K broadband line to 1mbps line.

Guess what??? I am getting MODEM speed seriously. this is the result frm the provider's speedometer at their site.

for the past week, I have been calling them every friggin day and they never seem to be doing anything.

I feel really ripped off. I can understand that you are not able to reach the ful capacity of 1mbps but having to settle for modem speed is extremely bad!!!!!!!!

You Look Tired

Thats whats 2 different people I met this week told me.

Hmmm.. don't know whats wrong with me but I am darn tired all the time.

Something wrong with me?

Kids these days

Sigh...
what is becoming of the world today and what more the kids today.

Every year end, the co, will have this community proj event where they invite homes to come and then have the children make their 3 top wishes. The event then will be held at some hotel where kids meet their sponsors.

This year would be my first year participating in this event. By the time, i got to the board, all were left were bigger kids and I decided to sponsor a kid who is 15 years of age.

Pretty simple 3 wishes.
1) jeans + tshirt
2) sport shoes + socks
3) basketball.

We were given a budget and if it exceeds that we can replace that with another gift. We are encouraged not to spend more than RM300.

Anyways, I went shopping and bought what i thought was nice and reasonable priced.

oh boy! i wasn't prepared for the shock i got when i gave the kid the gift at the end of the event.
He asked me whether i bought him either quick silver, billabong, nike tshirt or what? I was like... open n u will know. He didn't want to and I mean Thank Goodness for that lah. If not he will know that did not buy in branded stuff but stuff that was nice and affordable. What are becoming of kids these days.

These are orphans, suppose to be poor?? i don't think so no more. These days. these ppl are too materalistic.

shocked what is becoming of the kids.

Next year if i were to sponsor, i want to sponsor younger kids.

Oh might i add, he was a rude kid, more like a delinquent type. Rude , rushed for food. Took alot of food, and couldn' finish.. and kept taking... totally ill mannered. I talked to some people after the event and was told that some of the other kids from that home were equally ill mannered. So thats it.. next year byebye no more sponsoring kids from these homes.

When and IF i become a parent, i will teach my kids to be thankful to have a roof over their heads, a shirt on their back. I want them to appreciate what they have. And look at things beautiful not bcoz of the price or brand... but for the thing is beautiful in itself regardless of brand or $$$ tag.

Breakdown

No NOT me....

Today out of a suddenly at work, i heard sobbing sounds behind me, I turn back to see my cubicle neighbour balling out. I didn't dare go to him and ask.. whats wrong. He sob sob sob.. then he stopped. I then msg him and asked are you ok?

he said he is emo. Just yesterday he told me that he has been diagnosed with chronic depression. When I asked the dr diagnosed you? he said no i told the DR that. On Monday he was on Medical.

I have known him for 3 years, starting off in the same team, he joined like 2 months before me. In year 2006, we had a restructure. Our team was disolved and myself and him was pulled together with my super to our current team. Well, what i believe is that our super pulled u to be with her.

For the past 2 years, life hsn't been easy. Let me tell you why. Coz this is not what both our skills are. Eventho he did have abit of skills in this area, his passion is not this. he likes development work. so being in infra side is just not his forte. He like myself have been asking for a movement for 1 year now and the answer given to the both of us are the same. Which is big flat no.

Today he just couldn't contain it any longer and broke down. Also least to say that my super has been hounding him down... kind of pitiful. But I guess his only way out is to leave if he can't stand it anymore coz staying on isn't gonna change anything.

I hope i don't get to that stage too. I feel what he feels coz you're never good enough.. for that someone... who has authority over you. Its sad sad sad.

Bangkok

As you would have guessed that I went on a vacation over the Deepavali long weekend. I actually had to take one day off but its all worth it. The trip at least and the shopping spree that i did. But i beg to differ about the company though. :P

Let's start from the beginning. During the MATA fair that just passed, I went to get the ground package for the tour. It was also my very first experience of MATA fair. :) Yeah yeah i know.

Anyways, booked the air asia flight and the package which included hotel and hotel transfer.

The hotel is pretty old hence the bed i have to caution, had bed bugs which I had to suffer the bites and till now still have the red scars to show. Hope it will heal soon.

Shopping was excellent but of course when one says one is going to bkk for shopping, its not about the brand or the quality stuff. But i like it... coz i don't care as long as its nice and cheap... :)

Here goes some of the wares which i bought. Some i have already given to the rightful receipients.




Black with White Stripe blouse - bought for RM17 = 170 baht.
Bought at The Platinum Fashion Mall.





















Addidas baggie = RM24 = 240 Baht
Bought at Chatuchak weekend market










RM20 each if buy in wholesale (3 and above) Thats the term used wholesale means 3 or more. I bought the white pattern in peach also. :) Very worth it ya.... RM20 ONLY!!!!












Puff Sleeves white blouse = RM23 = 230 baht.
Bought at Chatuchak Weekend Market. The lady didn't want to reduce the price.. :( just a tiny bit.... But ok lah.

















Shorts - forgot the price, i think it was RM15 or was it RM13?











Tshirts

The light color was purchased for RM19 each when purchased 3 or more. I bought 3 but the grey one has been worn so not in the picture.

The polo one.. is about RM25 - not cheap lah this one but cheaper than the real thing loh.







I want to make another trip there!!!!! maybe next year. But with someone who don't mind walking and taking the sky train rather than wanting to take taxi all the time.

Updates

I haven't been blogging much.
Its much due to laziness and just not wanting to do anything....
Sleeping seems to be like the best remedy.
Scrabulous seems to be the next best remedy. hehee

Brief update
1) Went for vacation over the Deepavali holidays. Came back with severe bed bugs bites. (never ever gonna stay in that stupid hotel again, eventho the location was fab for shopping).
2) made a decision yesterday - will reveal more once I have given it a through thought and an action plan.
3) Search for potential new J has started. hopefully with God's grace something will happen.

Another Sunday ? Dissipating Hope?

As friends of mine know, every sunday I am an early riser. I am up before the sun is up to be in church. Yes.... Its been going on for years.

And also for years there is chap who has been going to church i believe for as long as I have. But long ago, my family used to seat at the front pews. Like the first few 5 or so. But since the new priest came along couple of years back, we have had to move back to the second sections of the pew. Coz this priest uses alot of incense throughout mass and my nose can't take it. I feel suffocated.

So since the last few years, I finally began to notice this chap. I believe he is eurasian. So i was hoping that one day I would have a chance to cross path. Years went by, prayers went unheard. Then for the last 6 months I haven't seen him in church anymore. Until today.

During his absence of the 6 months, his sister has given birth. and today there is baptism for babies. Maybe thats why he came. He did came to mass but alas! with a beautiful chinese girl in tow :)

I don't know this person but only seen from afar but yet I have this tinge of disappointment in my heart. Maybe its more of a feeling of dissipated hope.

Its not easy anticipating the next birthday which is very soon on the way. Not very easy to accept the fact that one is turning older and yet nothing in sight. Years of prayers that doesn't seemed answered. Maybe like they say, every prayer is answered and maybe the answer is a No.

How does one as a Christian , decides to do? Go on praying? give you praying? Still hold hope that God hasn't forsaken one?

Its easy for some ppl of other faith judging Christians. But tell you it isn't easy being a Christian. We have struggles too more so when you are closer to God. If you noticed, alot of people always have this judgemental way of approaching Christian. It aint' an easy journey esp this Spiritual journey. But without hope, is one's life worth living.

Lately

I gone for a holiday at all this year. It has been work work work. Due to my project. When my project ended in Oct, I wanted to take a break. During MATA fair, my friend and I went to buy those ground packages. Planned for a long awaited trip to BKK.

Then... bad news had to prod along. My TL, has been in this other proj for while since last year. He travelled to Canada and USA for this proj. Suddenly when its about to come to implementation time, he is passing the bug to someone else. Guess who is the lucky soul - ME!!!!
And the worse thing is, they have a workshop in US next month. But i can't go!!!! WHY? coz it clashes with my vacation.

Yeah some might say just cancel your trip. But have you to understand, its just no me involved in this vacation. My friend will be damn pissed. Coz she was looking forward to this also. So I stand firm in going for my vacation regardless. Sometimes when you give in too much to the co, it becomes more detrimental to you rather than otherwise.

So its my luck. don't get to go but have to work on the project. When will my luck get better.
anyways.. my visa has expired!!! hehehe so if i get to go...(if they change the dates!!!, pray!!!and hope they do), then I can get new visa on the expense of the co.. MUAHAHAHHAHAA

Lets see how it goes.

Oh yeah.. I have spent my Award money!!!! :P The secretary was complaining how I was the last one still who has not submitted it for claim. Well next is my dead line.. doing it first thing in the morning. :P (will take photos of the staff.... and post it)

P/S On another topic, I have been trying real hard to stay positive. Glad to say it has brought some good feeling within me. Eventho' i still go through bouts of sadness once a while.

Things that you said you would but never gotten to do it...

You know what i meann rite? Year after year that new year resolution, that month resolution, etc etc. hehehe.

But u end up not doing nothing about it.

Aiii. sad to say I have some task pending. I know i should do it more regularly but somehow the lazy bone got better of me.

I need to lose weight. And I did embark on that. Then half way off, it sizzled off.. hehehe....
I need to start it again. I met up with ringgit yesterday, and he commented i put on weight. :(

Aiyoooo.. dunno what to do.
Its the age believe me. i don't eat much... but yet.. its boom boom up the scale.

List of things i should get going on
1) Lose weight - ideal would be 50KG
2) repaint the apt.
3) save money to furnish the other room with bed and a cupboard.
4) GET ME A HUSBAND!!!! :P

Ok better not have too many!!!!

The story of the Raven

The Story of about ravens. Or as most of us here would call it the crow.
as we all know, all those spooky, evil - devilish shows always have the raven in it. Raven the sign of ill omen.
Yesterday I went to watch the movie Seekers and as usual when there is a story about darkness vs light... good vs evil, ravens appears throughout the movie. On a side note, I do not recommend watching this show... not worth your money lah.

Anyways... when watching the show, it triggered some memory, something which happened to me about 1 month or so ago.

Here goes... MG's encounter with the Raven.
One Sat morning, I decided to follow my sister to this mall... there are some shops close by to the mall where my sis takes her daughter for music lessons. I had wanted to get something from the mall so I decided it would be ideal for me to just get a ride with and then wait till the music class ends and I shall get her to pick me up.

around 1.30pm, I left the mall and waited as instructed at this side of the road near the cross road... As i was standing reading the JJ's mag, i felt something like flew pass my head - almost touching my hair - maybe it did i wasn't sure. Then i turn and i saw this crow behind me.. perched on a bill board.

I moved a little to my left.. - moving down the road.. and finally settling infront of a TNB power box. suddenly the very same crow flew infront of me and stared at me right in the eye. I had an uneasy feeling and my heart started to beat really fast. I felt something wasn't right. It was like watching me and waiting to attack me. I quickly reached in to my tshirt and pulled out my crucifix and within seconds , the crow flew away right to the other far end corner of the road - on my right.

Phew....
So what do you take of this.????

When I spoke to my mom about this, she told me that maybe "IT" sensed something good about me... so its more like good vs evil.

So what they say is true, when you're closer to God, the more you need to pray..... Don't let down your guard.. coz "ITS" always awaiting for the moment when you let down your guard...

Or for the less religious, this could be just a freak incident.

Either way, I thank my Guardian Angel and the good Lord for giving me the wisdom to pull out my crucifix.

I wonder...

day after day
week after week
month after month
year after year...

Its a cycle that goes on and on.
U wake up, you go to there.. eventho' sometimes your heart just don't feel like doing it.
Your legs gets real heavy and as soon as you're there, your moods just dies.
Your day turns blue.
Gets worse when you have to talk to some arseholes. Who annoys you to pieces....

Recently i read two articles... each talks about how you can never be truely happy with the tang of sadness creeping in. coz thats part of life.. its a norm.

Hmmm....... and i read this in a religious news paper... hmmmmmmmmm
written by a priest............... hmmmmmmmmmm
hehehee
I AM NORMAL LEH!!!!!!!!!!
ITS NORMAL TO BE BLUE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
BLUEEEE MOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The End of a Chance

Have I thought about it since I made the decision about 2 years ago? Of course.

Sometimes my mind goes back and forth. Wondering if I have made the right decision.

Most of the times, these thoughts come about when I am facing tough times at work.

I guess its not so much of a regret but more of pondering.

But who knows someday a chance might come up again but maybe this time to a place that I really want to go to.. and would pack and go in just a blink of an eye.

The Quietness

There has been lack of updates.
Been figuring out what my life is all about. Yeah its that time again.
The time when I get pangs like this.. and I do some self wallowing.

Review is almost up and I am trying to figure out.. to stay or to go. Coz i can just predict the script will be read once more.. over again.

*wish me luck*

Rest In Peace - Dear Sarah

Today marks, 3 years, since the passing of my SIL - Sarah.

Her children are growing well with the love of Grandma and aunts and uncle. I pray to God that He will continue to shower his blessings on these two kids.

And I pray that my Brother will find his way back to God and not forget his children.

Rest in Peace - Sarah.

The end of 9 weeks

Yesterday was my final week of LSS. After successfully going for 9 weeks without skipping a single friday, its now the end of the road.

I would like to share how I feel after the 9 weeks. I have been blessed that was given the gift of tongues during the baptism of the holy spirit and for a couple of weeks on, my spirits were high.
As warned by my facilitator of my group, its now that the journey will begin to get tougher.

Indeed that was true. For the last 3 weeks of the LSS, I have been going throught spiritual dryness. I have to say, things got worse after i found out that my situation hasn't gotten any better at work.

It takes a lot of work to be close to God. The closer you are, the mr S.A TAN will try to lure you away. With great regret, I have to say this, for the past 3 weeks, Mr. TAN has won me over.

But I hope to gain momentum and strenght again to move forward.

So pray for me.
Currently in my mind, I just feel that God has abandon me. I have having thoughts that its better not be a believer as too much obstacles are placed infront of me, which sometimes I deem, too much and I am just tired.

Its a loop that never ends, like the world goes round and round, the issues just keep coming back hitting the fence and the shit hits back right at you.

Yeah!!! Award!!

Finally after being the company for 3 years, I have been given a recognition award....
Now, what should I spend it on. As part of the company's policy, you cannot keep the cash. they won't give you cash either so you would need to spend the amoutn given in the letter and then claim.

The amount is about RM700. So what shoudl i buy with it??? a Watch? tissot?
Well it can be more than one item....

Actually I have been down the whole week, after the merger life really stink.
and everyone is clamouring for glory and visibility, alot of power crazy Arse and biatch....

So any suggestions on what to do with the $$$$

anyone?

Hey anyone ever reads this blog anymore??

hmmmmmmmmmmm

drop me a comment.

oooo.. a compliment

I was away for a 2 day softskill training.

Its a very participative sort of training lah. If you don't say anytnng, u will also be forced to open your mouth.. hehehee

Today was the last day, and when i walked up to the instructor to hand over my evaluation form. She said to me, "MG, you have a flair for this"
I went, a flair for this? this?
She said, yes, analysis skills, problem solving skills, dealing with people. You should leverage on it...

and half the time in the course, we never discussed tech stuff.. muahahahhaaa...

WHOAAAAAA someone who recognize that I have some ability...

WOW
eehehe...
made my day ....

Resisting Temptation is HARD!!!

On Friday, I saw this pair of shoes that I have been eyeing on. It cost about 400+ and when the sales started, it was only going for 30% off. Then on Friday, during lunch hour, I took a walk to that section and saw that.. it was now going for 50%.

I liked the brown color... so I asked the sales person to get me my size. She went in, came out and informed me that there is no more size 7 in brown. But they still have the black in size 7...
I don't know what made me say, no i prefer the brown. And I walked off.

Then over the weekend, my mind keep floating back to that pair of shoes. I even thought of driving back there just to get the black ones.

Then today I decided, I would go during lunch.. AIYAH I forgot i will not in the office but will be somewhere else attending training but its close to office. So the whole day, i kept thinking... should i or shouldn't i. Do i need it... but I WANT it...

AIYOH what a dilemma.

Then I had to head back to the office eventho' my head was throbbing like mad. Then with great resistence.. I didn't walk to the shop to buy the pair of shoes.. YEAH!!!!!!
RESISTING WAS HARD!!!!!!! But I am glad I resisted.

kept telling myself, I don't need it.. i dont need it.

I believe I deserve a pat on my back muahhahahaa.

Its been a while

Bleeep...
been awhile.....
alot has happened

changes at work, merger, now I have TL... some !*@&#!*@ but what to do, can't do anything about it... just be a idiota and work ....

Praying hard for some peace within......